The road to recovery from drug or alcohol addiction is difficult for many reasons, and there are quite a few factors that affect how each person’s individual journey. One factor that increases the complexity of recovery is when you and your partner are both facing addiction. Fortunately, some treatment centers and rehab agencies are qualified to help couples make progress together.
Shared Addictions
Much of the time, couples with addiction have built their relationship on their shared dependency. The result is a codependent relationship. This means that each partner contributes to the other partner’s addictions, mental health issues, and an inability to stick to treatment plans. Some characteristics of a codependent relationship include
- Difficulty being alone
- Low self-worth
- Victim mentality
- Need for external validation
- A deep-seated desire for affection
- Instability in personal relationships
These and other characteristics increase the difficulty of taking personal responsibility for behaviors and decisions that foster an addictive lifestyle.
Codependent Relationships
If you’re in a codependent relationship, it may be difficult for you to put your own needs ahead of your partner’s needs. You’ll need to step back from “rescuing” your partner from the consequences of addiction. However, as each of you learns to progress independently, it is possible that your relationship will strengthen as well.
Signs of Codependency
How can you tell if you have addiction-related codependency? Review the following examples of behaviors that indicate this type of relationship:
- Arguments centered around substance abuse and related issues, including financial problems
- Engaging in physical disputes while using
- Using addictive substances to cope with relationship stress
- Believing that you and your partner only show affection while under the influence of addictive substances
- Feeling that you only enjoy your partner’s presence when you’re both using
- Pulling away from other family and friends because of your addiction
When you first realize that you are part of a codependent relationship, the realization can feel overwhelming. However, treatment is available at licensed couples rehab and treatment centers.
Couples Treatment Programs
The good news is that research has shown that participating in a program together improves your chances of success. Once enrolled in a treatment program, you should expect to participate in counseling as individuals, couples, and in a group setting. Two of the most common treatment plans include
- 12-Step Meetings:These meetings are generally based on the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous but aren’t always affiliated with the organization. Treatment and rehab centers may use these principles are part of their recovery programs.
- Behavioral Couples Therapy:This is one of the most common approaches for helping couples overcome addiction together. This method focuses on replacing destructive behaviors with new behaviors. Some of the therapeutic goals include creating a recovery contract, including positive behaviors and activities in the relationship, and learning to communicate effectively.
Whichever type of treatment a center chooses, it’s important that the unique factors in your life and your partner’s life are taken into account.
Benefits of Couples Treatment
As you and your partner enter a treatment or rehab program together, you could benefit in many important ways. The benefits may affect you as individuals, as a couple, and as a family:
- Decreased likelihood of your relationship ending
- Happier relationships as a couple and a family, such as decreases in domestic violence incidence and fewer emotional problems for children in the relationship
- Better compliance in taking prescribed medications
- Improved awareness of healthy support and communication systems
As you and your partner continue through recovery together, there may be other benefits specific to your unique situation.
Cooperative Support
Support from loved ones, family members, and friends is crucial to a successful recovery. On the other hand, relationships with those friends and acquaintances who encouraged addictive patterns of behavior can derail your success. Entering a treatment program as a couple increases the amount of support you feel from your partner and decreases the possibility that your partner will draw you back into an addictive path.