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The Art of Letting Go and the Skill of Moving On

Love will keep us alive, as the song goes, but when love fails the whole world seems to come crashing down, making you feel empty, pained and broken. You would break down and cry and probably ask, how do I live?

It’s a fact that regardless how long you have been together as a couple, certain amounts of misunderstandings and petty and big fights are sure to test and shake the relationship. And when the heart is not so smart to kiss and make up, a breakup could happen.

People may say “You’ll get over it soon”, but you may be thinking otherwise, asking “How could they not know that breakups are never easy to handle?”. But you can’t linger on the pain forever and you need to cope with it — gradually.

Whatever breakup phase you are going through right now, you’ve got to learn the art of letting go and move on to get yourself back on track, otherwise you’ll lose everything.

When your mind play tricks on you

During the early stage of a breakup, your mind will still be filled with thoughts of your ex — it’s ok, that’s normal. There may also be times when you thought you heard his voice but when you turned around to utter a word, he isn’t there.

* What you should do is block out those painful or unwanted thoughts by not dwelling on them. Tell yourself that such thoughts are of no importance to you and your life anymore. Talk to friends, workmates and family members using all channels available, like mobile texting or social media, but the best would be a face-to-face convo over a cup of coffee.

When photographs and memories haunt you

Most couples who have been together for years may probably have accumulated and exchanged gifts — photographs, teddy bears, jewelries, couple shirts, perfume, coffee mugs, love letters or books — which bear countless memories.

* Most people would give them back to their exes but others don’t, and instead keep them to treasure forever. However, some people are quite hesitant to give gifts back to their exes, especially when they aren’t on speaking terms anymore, and don’t want to keep them in the closet as these would just remind them of the person and could trigger more pain. If you are in the same dilemma, the best thing to do is to keep these memorabilia in a storage vault to best serve both purposes.

When nights are cold and you feel alone

It’s hard to adjust to sleeping alone when you’ve gotten used to having someone beside you before. The arms that used to embrace you and the gentle kisses that slowly wake you up in the mornings are gone. Accept it.

* There’s no better way to cope with this but to keep yourself busy by engaging with new activities, acquiring new skills or travelling. Divert your mind and body to more important and productive things. When you’re exhausted you’ll be too busy to entertain breakup thoughts. You’ll be surprised to realize one day that flashbacks of the previous romance have become passive thoughts now, and do not bother nor pain you anymore.