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To Stay or Stray – How Do I Know When a Relationship Has Reached its End?

It’s a harsh reality, but not all relationships go the distance. Often, the person we invest our time and love into is not the one for us. Situations involving the breakdown of a relationship are difficult, as both options available lead to tough circumstances. Ending the relationship is messy, and can leave someone feeling lonely. Fighting for the relationship is tough, especially when the relationship is toxic to either party.

For a relationship to reach this point, there must be some obstacle in the way of happiness. This could be distrust, unfaithfulness, lack of effort or any number of things. These obstacles naturally prompt a fight or flight response in us, so quite often we know instinctively whether or not this obstacle is worth fighting through. Other times, we are unsure and require some guidance. The points listed below are there to prompt a response, and hopefully will help your choice become clear.

Stay Safe!

First and foremost, it is important to protect your finances and property when considering the termination of a relationship. If you and your partner have common financial investments and want to end the relationship, it is beneficial to consult a lawyer to assess your options. It’s always helpful to find a great family lawyer in Melbourne that can offer advice about division of property and other shared items.

Is there Trust?

An important factor in any relationship is trust. If there is continuous dishonestly or manipulation that causes you to feel insecure in your relationship, it may well be in your best interests to end it. A partner is meant to enhance the happiness you already have, and if your partner makes you feel uncomfortable, worthless or controlled, they are not treating you with the respect you deserve. These relationships are toxic, and should be avoided.

The Spark.

A common reason for the breakdown of a relationship is the loss of the “spark” felt at the beginning. The spark of a relationship embodies the intense feeling of love, perhaps even infatuation at the beginning of a couple’s journey. It is important to know that this spark commonly fizzles out to a degree, with gestures of love seen in the everyday things rather than the extravagance seen at the beginning of a relationship.

At times, when the spark feels non-existent, love languages and communication come into play. Discuss your unhappiness with your partner; they may be unaware that you have felt this way. If after multiple discussions they make no attempt to change, they are not showing you the respect and love you deserve. At times like these, you may need to consider ending the relationship.

Love languages are also a large part of communication. We love in different ways; someone who requires words of affirmation in order to feel loved may not respond as well to gifts. Be aware of your partner’s love language, and understand that love may be expressed in a multitude of ways.

Have You Given Up?

The final point to consider is one of the most important: have you tried to save the relationship? Quite often, the answer to the question is no, and giving the relationship another chance may be the best option. Nowadays, the attitude of throwing away broken things is more prominent than the traditional culture of fixing them. If you are content with the effort you have put into the relationship, and can walk away knowing that you did what you could to save it, it may be time to call it off.

The decision to end a relationship is tough, but to save a relationship may be tougher. Whatever you decide, keep your heart and wellbeing in high regard. Your happiness is precious, and need not be wasted on toxic relationships. Use these points as a guide, and seek support from your friends and family. Look after yourself and know that the end of a relationship is not the end of all happiness in your life.