MYTH – online dating is dangerous, demoralizing and a waste of time.
The world of online dating has changed a lot over the last decade or so. In the early days it was little more than a virtual chat room, but now the technology is there to make finding love as smooth and as likely as possible. Websites and apps compete to get your profile on their site and now worldwide, online dating is a $4bn industry.
It must have something going for it! If that alone has convinced you to give it a try, you might want to know which site suits you. Maybe you are considering one of the bigger names such as eHarmony or Match?
Still not sure about it? Well then you should know this; one third of marriages in the US began with meeting on the internet. And that figure is just going to keep on rising. Managing your money has changed, you probably just do it via an app on your phone now. The internet has made so many elements to our lives easier and less time consuming and it’s the same with dating!
Why exactly is it so popular?
- Easy. You set up a profile, and then you pay someone to find you potential dates. Then you decide if you go on it or not!
- Fun. Because you are matched with dates who have similar interests, at the very least you’ll spend an evening with someone who you can have a conversation with. The spark may not be there, but you won’t leave feeling like it’s you vs the world. You’ll enjoy dating!
- Safe. It’s been proven that people are more honest when dating online than when they are in the ‘real world’. Obviously you still need to be street wise. But generally people don’t lie about who they are and what they want. And the dating websites don’t want liars on their site. It’s like eBay; dishonest traders get found out and nobody uses them. Same thing here!
- The dates are out there!You work in one place every day, you live in one place, you see the same people. Finding opportunities to meet new people is difficult, especially if you have children. Well your online dating profile is actively looking for people who want to be found!
Here are 5 questions to ask a potential online date to stay safe, have fun and get what you’re looking for…
One of the (many) benefits of online dating is that the ‘ice breaking’ happens before you meet up. There’s always a bit of back and forth to get a feel for each other. And of course, if from the outset it’s clear you two simply aren’t going to work, then you can guilt-free cancel as you’re never going to see them again! Winner. What questions should you ask?
- What are you looking for? Just a bit of fun? The ‘one’? A soulmate? Nothing serious but if I meet the love of my life, then great! Getting a feel for this is important. You will generally get an honest answer too, that’s the beauty of online dating, people are true to themselves. Based on what they say, you know if you’re going to stand a good chance of meeting someone with the same goals.
- What made you write to me? You’re not fishing for compliments here (although, it is good to hear them!) but it helps worm out those that copy and paste the same thing into every email they send to women from the dating site. It also sets up a potentially fun, flirty and relaxed tone that means the edge has been taken off the date when the time comes.
- Tell me about your family. This helps you work out if you’re attitudes to life in general are the same. Family values are very important to most people, so you need to know they are the same are yours. Nobody is pretending that their family life has had to be ‘perfect’, families just aren’t like that. But it gives you are great feel for who they are as a person and how compatible you might be.
- What’s your perfect night out/night in? Again, this will give you an idea of who you are dealing with! Remember, not to look for the ‘perfect’ answer, but just look out for warning signs that maybe you’re not going to get on.
- Tell me a secret…great thing to ask! It’s a great pre-date ice breaker and tests their sense of humor. If their secret is a bit too dark or weird, that’s a red flag that maybe you shouldn’t waste an evening with them. If their answer is funny and cute, you’ve got a bit of conversation ammo for the date, and you know they don’t take themselves too seriously! Just be prepared to share a secret in return…
Remember, there are no ‘rules’ to who you get on with and who you click with. How many times have you told a girlfriend about a guy you’ve met but ‘they are so not my type’. So don’t go looking for A* answers to your questions. But do use them to get a feel for who you’re potentially going to be meeting up with.
If you feel like you want to join the millions looking for love online, you’re going to need to know which site is best suited to you? The experts at Online4Love have compared the two bigger names in the industry,eHarmony and Match.