Getting a divorce is not the end of life; in fact for most women it marks the beginning of a new life. If you can play it smart, you can be self-reliant and happy, without any worries about your future. You can regain your confidence and independence and have all the support that you would need to spend the rest of your life without any problems.
If you want to be happy after divorce, here are a few attitudes that you may have to adopt during your recovery process:
#1: I am not a victim; I am a survivor
The first thing you need to do after a divorce is stop feeling sorry for yourself. It is going to take some time to get used to your new life; but if you keep dwelling on your loss, crying, grieving, and venting out to everyone that matters, you are going to make it very difficult for yourself.
You’re not alone; there are many like you out there who may even need antidepressants for a while. If you do there is nothing wrong in it. Go for therapy, join a divorce support group, or sign up for one of the counseling services, if it can help you move on. Get away from self-pity and spend time with people who are upbeat. Not only will you be happy, you will also be a role model for your children by recovering from this life crisis.
#2: I can handle this
Your lifestyle is not going to be the same after your divorce; but you can definitely handle it if you come to terms with it.The faster you accept the reduction in your lifestyle the better it would be for you. If time permits, you can even get a better job, sign up for a course, increase your hours and improve your earnings on your own. Not only will it boost your self-confidence, it will also give you absolute peace of mind.
#3: I am in charge of my own life
If you have been dependent on your husband all your life, this is the time to take charge. You can hire an accountant or a financial planner to organize your finances and manage your cash flow. You may take up a course, attend seminars, or read books about financial planning. It is going to take some efforts and time; but it will be highly satisfying once you are in control of it.
#4: I am going to take it easy
Divorce is going to come with a lot of unpleasantness, especially when there is custody sharing. You may not like how your ex-husband behaves, while dealing with your kids. But you don’t have to bother unless he is abusing or hurting them in any way. You shouldn’t be a doormat; instead put on your business hat and confront your issues with your ex. If need be, you can take legal actions too; but avoid doing it unless it is the only way to go.
Taking divorce as an opportunity for growth and maturity is what smart women do. Don’t deprive yourself of the things you deserve. If you are about to get a property transferred in your name, it may make better sense to get a quit claim deed. Do your homework before taking any action.