I was once a believer in traditional dating. Online dating was never a great idea for me, until such time I lost hope in finding love. I’ve always wanted to find a man who is also searching for someone like me. So I decided to join TrulyAsian, a dating site for Asian singles.
It went well at first, and I got to meet a lot of different people on the website. But we all know that all the things that surround us are not perfect. There are always ups and downs, even in online dating.
It took me a year to meet my fiance on the dating site and throughout that year, I’ve experienced and learned a lot of things while using online dating.
1. Love takes time
Finding the right person for you will require a lot of time and patience. You have to kiss a lot of frogs first before you find your prince. It takes a lot of dedication and practice before you meet the right person for you.
It doesn’t mean that once you sign up in an online dating site, you will find your ideal match right away. It’s the same as by the time you graduate. You won’t get a job immediately the day after your graduation. Though it might be possible for some but for most people that’s impossible.
2. It is okay to be rejected
Online dating was developed to give singles the opportunity to meet people online with different personalities and backgrounds. The downside is that you will not see results right away. You still need to undergo a lot of rejections before you meet the right person for you. It’s the same as success where you will have to struggle first before you reach the top.
After a lot of attempts to connect with strangers, a few success and hundreds of rejections, you will understand that being rejected is not bad after all. It just shows that everyone is different. Throughout the experience, you will appreciate more people who are sincere in connecting with you.
3. Being sociable will give you an edge
In online dating, you will get to learn that the more you socialize, the more success you will get. Before I started online dating, I used to be too insecure to talk to anyone, especially to those friendly sales ladies.
Maybe what my mom said when I was young that “don’t talk with strangers” stuck up in my mind too hard. But when I joined online dating, it helped me overcome my fears of talking to strangers. It’s okay to be friendly as long as you haven’t stepped on anyone’s shoes.
4. Trust your guts
One of the greatest lessons online dating has taught me is to always trust your guts. There were instances that I thought that the person I’m talking to is the perfect match, but then it turns out he is actually the opposite of what I thought he was. No matter what, always follow your instincts.
Listening to my guts rather than following my heart helped me make better decisions not just in dating, but also in life.
5. Your honesty will be put to the test
The downside of online dating is that there are a lot of scammers and catfishes. It is easy for you to represent yourself as something you are not online. You can be able to build a profile that’s super witty and attractive by just copying the person whom you read in articles or books. But the problem is if your match found out that you’re not who you say you are, they will perceive you as a liar and a pretender.
Self-love and acceptance is the biggest thing I learned throughout my entire online dating journey. You see, once you will be able to be completely honest with yourself about who you are and be confident about your strengths and weakness, you will be able to improve yourself and eliminate the negativity that surrounds you. Just act like yourself and the person who will love you for who you are will eventually come.
6. Love yourself first
The sad thing about others who joined in online dating is that they are very desperate to be with someone else because they can’t stand the fact of being single and alone. Online dating is for the people who are ready to open their doors again.
Entering into a new relationship while you’re still moving on from your previous love will only draw a lot of scars on your heart. If you feel that you’re not ready to meet new people, don’t enter into a relationship. Try to mend yourself first.
Pursue a hobby, express your feelings through writing, workout, reach out to family and friends, travel alone, do all the things that help you to reconnect with yourself. Remember that you will have to love yourself first and accept all your flaws before you pursue other people