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Learning to Let Go When Your Child Is Old Enough to Drive

The entire process of raising children involves providing them with the skills they need to live successfully on their own. Some days it’s harder than others, but no day is more difficult that the day your child gets his or her license.

Letting your child walk out the door with the keys to the car is scary. Unfortunately, telling your teen they can never drive alone and banishing them to their room isn’t a good idea. It may make you feel a little better in the moment, but it does nothing to help them prepare for a life away from home.

Instead, you have to find a way to let go when your child is old enough to drive. Although these tips won’t rid you of your fear completely, they will help ease your mind when your child pulls out of the driveway.

Take Practice Tests with Them

You’ll feel a lot better if you know that they know the rules of the road. Unfortunately, just asking them isn’t enough. Of course they’ll tell you they have been studying!

Instead of taking their word for it, take some practice tests with them online. There are some really great resources out there. For example, ePermitTest has online tests that, “are based on the official driver’s manual and cover the same information you will encounter on your real exam.” These tests include traffic rules, permit test simulators, traffic signals, and more.

Let Them Drive When the Two of You Go Places

Failing the permit test doesn’t necessarily mean your teen is a bad driver, but the opposite is also true. Just because they passed the test doesn’t mean they’re safe and confident behind the wheel!

You should give your teen plenty of time to practice driving while you’re a passenger in the car. That means taking them out on the road for lessons, but it also means letting them drive when you would normally drive.

Have your teen drive you to the grocery store, to the mall, and to school. The more you see them gain confidence in their driving, the more confident you’ll be in their driving too.

Make a Plan for Checking In

The language of teenagers is undoubtedly texting. It really is a great way to get through to your teen, especially when they are on the road and you’re left at home.

However, you may find yourself sorely disappointed if you text willy-nilly and don’t hear anything back. Instead, you should develop a plan for checking in.

For example, you could ask your teen to text when they get to their destination. If you don’t hear from them by a certain time, you will text them to check in. Then, make sure you talk about the repercussions if you don’t hear back.

Make sure part of the plan is not texting while driving! And that includes responding to text messages you may have sent. That reply can wait until they get to their destination.

Use Apps to Your Advantage

Apps can bring you peace of mind because there are so many great teen driving apps out there! Just a few ideas include:

  • The TrueMotion Family Safe Driving app allows you to set rules, like the speed they can drive and where they can go.
  • DriveSmart will provide your teen with important reminders, like buckling up.
  • AT&T DriveMode can silence text messages automatically when a speed of at least 15 MPH is reached.
Talk with Other Parents About Your Fears

Parenting a teenager inherently comes with a lot of stress. Letting them drive just adds more stress to your life. If you don’t find a way to let all that stress go, your mental and physical health will suffer.

One of the best ways to feel more at ease about letting your teen drive is to talk to other parents about it. It’s even better if you can talk with your teen’s friends’ parents, because they’re driving too!

Discuss tips that help bring you peace of mind, and ask them how they manage their teen driver. You may learn something that can help you ease your anxiety and build trust with your teen. If nothing else, you’ll at least feel better getting your worries off your chest.

There’s a lot to be worried about as your teenager slowly undergoes the process of becoming an autonomous adult, but nothing compares to letting them drive alone. Fortunately, with these tips and a little practice, you can rest a little easier when your teen hits the road.