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Is This How We Date Now

No one wants to commit now. We think that putting an effort means sending a “good morning” or “good night” texts. Everyone says romance is dead but maybe it just needs to be reinvented. Maybe all you need is to let your phones down and look at each other’s eyes during dinner. Maybe romance is still alive and out there, but we don’t know what it looks like now.


Even when we choose to commit, we’re still one eye wondering at the other choices. We all think that choices mean something, but in the end, those choices are killing us. We don’t see the person standing beside us, asking to be loved, because we’re too busy looking for our next thrill. We long for something we still want to believe that exists.

If we can’t face the demons inside our own head, then how can we love someone else? So we leave. We don’t worry because there are so many options out there. We open up our Instagram and see the lives of others. Lives we could live. Look at places we’ve never been. Look at people we’re not dating. So we end up being miserable and dissatisfied. We feel hopeless because we can’t see our lives for what they really are.

Let’s say we manage to find that person who loves us. Finally-commitment and intimacy. Hearing “I love you”. Quickly, we start living our relationship for others. We update our relationship status. We’re now officially a couple on Facebook. We post our pictures on Instagram. We become a “We”. We choose to show people the perfect side of our relationship. We don’t share the 2 am awful fights. We don’t tweet about the sadness we feel after having those devastating conversations that can kill our love. Sadness doesn’t fit in 140 characters. We only share happy photos of us being a happy couple. Love seems perfect.

Then, we start seeing the other happy couples and we start comparing. We’ll never be good enough, because what we’re trying to measure up simply does not exist. These relationships and lives don’t exist. But we want it and we’ll make ourselves miserable until we get it.

So, we’ll break up. We break up because our lives and our relationship aren’t good enough. Then the cycle starts again. We find someone new on Thinder. We write “good morning” texts, we take couple selfie, then compare, compare, compare. Again, the feeling of dissatisfaction. And we break up. Yes, another love lost.

On to the next. Living our lives in 5 second snaps, 140 characters, filtered photos. We strive for a happy filtered life. If this love is not Pinterest worthy, we don’t want it.

After some time we realize that what we want is actually a lie. We actually want simplicity and true connection. We want a love that builds not a love that gets crashed after the first hit. We want to come home to someone. We want to lay our head at night next to someone who makes you feel safe and loved. We might not know it yes, but these truly are the things we want!

Source: thoughtcatalog.com