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Is it Ever Okay To Go Back to an Ex?

After breaking up with your lover, there may come a time when you will wonder whether you made the right decision. You may be asking yourself whether you should have given the relationship another try. You may also be weighing the pros and cons of getting back with your ex. Once you end a relationship, it is at times difficult to tell if you made a mistake or not. With so many conflicting thoughts, it is almost impossible to know which ones are logical and which ones are emotional.

The fact that you miss your ex, love your ex or you are miserable about him or her is not a good enough reason to get back together. You will find yourself thinking about anything to avoid the pain of the breakup. Therefore, it is not advisable to believe anything that your mind tells you after you have ended your relationship. Some of the reasons that you may be giving your friends and family about wanting to reconcile with your ex but are not good reasons for reconciliation include:

  • I cannot live without him or her
  • I love him or her
  • I will never find someone like him or her
  • He/she was my soul mate
  • He/she made me happy
  • He/she did a specific activity better than anyone else
  • I’m miserable without him or her.

Many other variations of the reasons above could exist. If you can see neediness or desperation in any reason you give for getting your ex back, know that it is not a solid reason. However, there are many reasons why you may get back with your ex. The following are some of them.

• If the problems can be fixed

If the reason that led to the break up is not an issue anymore, then you can get back with your ex. For instance, you may have broken up because you had a long distance relationship. If you are now residing in the same city, the problem is gone. You may also have ended your relationship because your partner was a workaholic. If he or she has realized that there is more to life than just working, you can consider getting back together.

• Time has elapsed

Time heals wounds. After being apart for an extended period, you may have forgotten about your differences and be willing to get your ex back. You are also wiser and more mature. Therefore, you are likely to see things in a new and more mature way. If time has made you know that you are compatible with each other, there is no need to wait any longer.

• Both of you want the same things now

When dating someone, you may realize that he or she does not want the same things you want. In that case, the relationship has to end. You may have decided relationship because you wanted children and your partner did not. If your ex has changed his or her mind about not having kids, it sounds like your relationship could work.

• You made a rash decision to break up

You may have given up on a great relationship because or h minor thing such as ego. You may have one or said something and your partner overreacted and chose to leave you. In such a case, you can forgive your partner and decide to work on your relationship.

• If you started another relationship but it did not work out

You may find your ex irresistibly attractive after you start a relationship with another person, but it fails to work out. You now realize that things were better with your ex. If you have both come to this realization, you can rekindle your relationship.

• If the relationship was amazing

The other time you can get back with your ex is if you had a fantastic relationship. A fantastic or great relationship is more than just the good and peaceful times during the honeymoon stage. Various things show that your relationship was amazing including respect, honesty, good communication and trust among others. If the relationship you had with your ex had all these qualities, then you can try to win him or her back.

• You had a child together

It is also advisable to get back with your ex if you had a child with him or her. Getting back together will not only be for the good of the two of you but also your child. Rearing the child together will be easier. Therefore, you can try getting back with your ex.

• If your family and friends think that reconciling with your ex is a good idea

Most people advise their friends and relatives to move on if they happen to break with their partners. However, this is not always the best solution. If your friends and family advise you to try reconciling with your ex, then saving the relationship may be worth it. Your friends know you well, and they may not be wrong when they tell you that your ex was good for you. You can also try winning your ex back if you think that you can have a great future together.

Relationships end due to many different reasons, and this experience is never pleasant. Sometimes, a breakup looks like an end, but it is not. Instead, it allows both parties to retreat, reflect on their relationship and think about coming back together. If you feel that the problems that made you end your relationship are fixable and you want to get back with your ex, feel free to do so. You never know, your relationship could get stronger as a result of forgetting the past differences. However, when trying to get your ex back for any given reason, you should not spend too much time doing so. You should give it a try, but you should move on with life if it fails because a forced relationship can end up doing more harm than good.