Addiction can be devastating, and treatment can be downright painful. If you want your loved one to have a full recovery and start living a better life, it’s important to support them however you can before and after their addiction treatment.
Of course, overcoming addiction is largely an individual journey; you can’t force someone to do the work necessary to improve their health, nor can you do the work for them. You can, however, provide them emotional support, reassurance, and help to ensure they kick the habit once and for all.
What are the best ways to support someone recovering from addiction?
Explain That You Want to Help
First, explain that you want to help. People struggling with addiction often have a hard time asking for help – and they may not be sure whether you want to be involved. Clear up the ambiguities and make it clear by expressing your support directly. A simple statement like, “I know you’re having a hard time, and I want to help you through it however I can” goes a long way.
Remain Patient
Addiction recovery is often a long and arduous process. It’s not a sprint; it’s a marathon, and there will likely be major challenges and setbacks along the way. If you’re going to remain in a supportive position, and maximize the chances of long-term recovery, it’s important for you to remain patient. Understand that there can be small setbacks without jeopardizing the long-term path – and try to forgive your loved one for the things they’ve done along the way.
Avoid Judgment
Similarly, it’s important to avoid judgment. If you’re the type of person who has never abused substances and has made consistently good decisions throughout life, it’s easy to look down on someone who has taken another path. It’s especially easy to negatively characterize someone if they’ve done harm, like lashing out at loved ones, stealing, or committing other crimes. But if you want to support a healthy recovery, it’s important to avoid judgmental statements and attitudes; instead, work to understand why and how they ended up in this place, and show compassion for them.
Be a Good Listener
Active listening is vital if you want to be supportive. Instead of offering your help directly, ask your loved one how you can help. Ask them about how they’re feeling. Let them talk. If your relationship is strained or if your loved one is struggling, it may be hard for them to open up. But with patience, openness, and understanding, eventually they’ll start talking to you. And when they do open up and see that you’re listening, they’ll feel better.
Learn More About Addiction and Recovery
Do what you can to learn more about addiction and recovery. You don’t need a medical degree to provide emotional support, but if you have a better understanding of the physical, mental, and emotional elements of addiction, you’ll be in a much better position to provide help.
Be Honest and Direct About Your Feelings
Your loved one is the person seeking recovery, but you’re still an important part of this process, and your needs and feelings still matter. Be honest and direct about how you feel, especially if asked. Again, you’ll want to avoid judgmental or accusatory language, but you can express your feelings. For example, you can say, “I feel hurt that you didn’t tell me what was going on,” instead of “it was selfish and foolish of you to not tell anyone what was going on.”
Find Distractions and Healthy Choices
You can also help your loved one by finding good distractions and helping them make healthy choices. Take your loved one out for a long bike ride, or go on an adventure together. You can also stay at home and watch movies or play video games. As long as it’s something engaging and fulfilling, it can help them find meaning and stability.
Enlist Professional Help When Necessary
While there are many ways you can support someone in addiction recovery, there’s a limit to what an untrained amateur can do. If you notice signs of relapse or if you’re finding yourself stretched thin, don’t be afraid to seek professional help.
Understand the Signs of Relapse
Finally, watch out for signs of relapse. Even many years after recovery, there’s a chance a person will relapse. Warning signs of relapse include symptoms of loneliness, depression, boredom, and dissatisfaction; a person may also begin skipping group therapy sessions, losing a grip on their routine, and experiencing cravings for their substance of choice.
If you follow these strategies, you’ll be able to provide your loved one with the caring, attentive support structures necessary to facilitate a healthy recovery. Addiction is powerful and destructive, but it’s not unconquerable. Lend your support to increase their chances of success.