What is love without a bit of jealousy? It is very natural and common to experience the burn of jealousy inside when you are in love with someone. People experience the degree of jealousy differently. Hence, some can deal with it easily while some struggle.
For those who want to have an open marriage, jealousy issues can make it especially difficult for you. If you are familiar with polyamory terms, then you can guess why. However, building more familiarity with this topic might actually help you to cope with jealousy problems in an open marriage. You can follow these tips to handle jealousy problems efficiently in your open marriage.
The first step to deal with jealousy is to acknowledge it. Do not avoid it or vilify it – this will not lead to any solution. When your husband or wife has secondary partners, it is natural to feel uncomfortable or confused. Rather than denying, accept your feelings.
Even if you are polyamorous, you might still experience feelings of jealousy. Many people feel ashamed because of it, but there is truly no need for it. Embrace the natural feeling instead of berating or shaming yourself, feeling guilty. Only that way can you move towards a healthy open marriage.
Find the Root Cause
If you have acknowledged your jealousy, then try to find out the reason behind it. When you find a reason, you will be able to find an optimal solution for it.
Jealousy may occur from a feeling of insecurity or feeling threatened by the metamours. It can also occur from envy, feeling as though you do not get enough time or attention from your partner. You may feel as if the open marriage is ruining your relationship with your husband or wife.
Analyze the cause and see how it makes you feel. If you reflect on your feelings, it will help you to become more confident in your position in an open marriage.
Do not keep your feelings bottled up inside. Unresolved issues will cause your relationship more harm, while sharing your thoughts may strengthen your bond. So, have an open, direct, and honest discussion with your partner.
Tell your partner about your jealousy – why you feel insecure, or angry, or miserable. Make your partner understand what you want and need from the relationship. With a few words of affirmation, your feelings of jealousy will dissipate.
Unlearn Monogamous Ideas
Society dictates that monogamy is the only standard way of having a romantic relationship. There are certain ideals and norms also built around it. Traditional ideas of monogamous relations would suggest it’s okay or necessary to feel jealous when your partner is with someone else.
If you are going to try something unconventional, then you have to unlearn the conventional ideals of a relationship. Reshape your thinking around how a relationship should be, what is normal.
If you are going to try out open marriage, make sure you discuss it with your partner first. When the inevitable jealousy issues occur, you can follow the aforementioned steps. This can ensure a satisfying open marriage for both of you.