Millions of women go through life harboring limiting beliefs centered around two simple words— I can’t. The lingering thoughts usually sound like this: “I’m not good enough” and “I shouldn’t bother trying.” And when it comes to health, wellness, and body size, we are pretty mean to ourselves, looping that narrative of negativity over and over, creating a barrier that keeps us from our goals.
Sadly, this scenario is one so many women experience. Instead of being our own best advocate and believing we can, we cater to the harsh, unsupportive image our minds have created. Many women never break this cycle of defeat. However, there is hope. You can conquer your body and life by getting clear on what really drives you.
I came to the realization one day that if I kept doing what I’d been doing, I’d keep getting slapped in the face by failure. I asked myself how I could approach this dilemma differently for a different result. When I abandoned the idea of quick-fixes, everything else changed, too. I started focusing on my well-being instead of my size, and I added positivity and self-care into my life. Finally, I woke up one day after a year of consistency and realized, “I’m actually different. I’ve broken the cycle.” And you can, too.
Layers and layers of limiting beliefs
You might wonder how we get into this predicament in the first place. Basically, we have created our tormented self-image from past failures. With every new goal and attempt at eating healthy and working out, deep down, we believe we’re destined for failure because we haven’t been able to stick to a plan in the past.
No matter how resolved we are in the initial stages of our new plan, our layers and layers of subconscious limiting beliefs get in the way. The subconscious is a powerful motivator. However, if our subconscious holds negativity, its power works against us. And with each new attempt, we end up telling ourselves that there’s “no real point” in trying our best, which is what ultimately causes us to fall off the wagon. It’s this repeated failure that reinforces our limiting beliefs, blocking all progress.
One problem with the entire process is that most of us hold perfectionist tendencies that fuel the unkind narrative. For example, we hold ourselves to unrealistic standards that aren’t sustainable and set us up for failure. Want to break the cycle of failure? You first have to stop perpetuating failure by creating an ‘all or nothing’ plan like eating clean 100% of the time, totally eliminating carbs, or going to the gym seven days a week. Those goals are great when they work in the beginning but we all know what happens when we eat that burger and fries or miss a day at the gym. Our negative thoughts come to the surface, and we begin to think we can’t. And then we tell ourselves that same old lie—“ I’m just not hardcore enough to conquer my health and wellness goals.” And the hamster wheel goes around and around.
So, here’s the plan
Before anything else, you need to do some deep introspection. Be honest with yourself. Know your breaking points and face your mindset challenges head-on. Knowing what you are up against will give you an advantage you have never had before.
For example, if you know drinks with friends happen a couple of times a month, and you enjoy that activity, don’t try to eliminate it from your plan. Instead, accommodate the things you love by making sacrifices elsewhere to spur your progress. One of the most detrimental things we can do is center our plan around eliminating the things we love. Why do we always feel our success relies on punishing ourselves that way?
Instead of taking a punishing approach, try to stay grounded. Know your focus. You are trying to develop a healthier way of living. Consider taking some preventative measures – eat a little cleaner, drink more water, or do an extra workout the week of the “drinks” activity. By doing so, you’ll be reinforcing to your subconscious that you are not one step away from “falling off the wagon” and that you’re in the driver’s seat of your progress this time around.
Yes, I can!
The journey to success requires realistic goals you can attain without meeting repeated failure. You must always keep in mind that any positive change is a step forward. It really is the slow but consistent steps in a positive direction that get you where you want to be.
Think of it this way—you are building a foundation for a new mindset that says “Yes, I can!” and gets you off the hamster wheel forever. Isn’t this positive result worth trying a new approach? It worked for me, and I believe it can work for you. Check her site: http://soniajhas.com/