It seems your daughter has a strange boyfriend? Here are five ways to deal with this situation.
When our daughters reach puberty, they begin to connect and bond more with their peers. It’s a situation that is barely in our control considering how technology has advanced over the years. We now have social media where, unlike our time, today’s kids socialize without seeing each other eye to eye. Through social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and others our daughters are more likely to be approached or have a crush on a slug that we barely know. So, how do we deal with this?
Accept the fact that the child grew up
First of all, we have to understand that our daughters are no longer the sweet little angels we tucked in at night. They are not the kids we buckled up or cut their grapes in half while they were young. Things have changed, and we have to let that sink in. We have to respect their decisions and guide them through the right path without looking like we are controlling their lives.
We all knew that a time would come where our daughters would start dating. Although we may not like it, we are not the first to deal with such a situation. It’s been an ongoing problem to parents for centuries. You must know of a parent or parents who did not approve of their daughter’s marriage, and she still went ahead and tied the knot. How do you think such parents felt?
Now that you have an answer, how do you think the daughter felt? It must have been hard for her getting into a union that her parents never approved of. A wedding ceremony of a girl child happening without the presence of her family is a nightmare. You do not want this for your kid.
Now that your daughter is dating and you seem to think that her boyfriend is a douchebag. How do you go about the situation? It’s not how you pictured it. Your daughter dating a hard-knock Goth full of weird tattoos is worrying. You want nothing but joy and happiness for her, so you choose to tread carefully and analyze the situation. Deep down, you are hoping that she will open her eyes and come to her senses or at least, her boyfriend will screw up and the relationship comes to an end. What if she jumps from a frying pan to fire and her next boyfriend has all the qualities of a junky? Your low-key happiness will quickly turn to a cloud of worry. It’s not the storm that you should be worried about, you can weather it. Instead, be wary of lightning, it’s the one that kills. Let’s look into some of the ways you can deal with this situation rationally and still have your daughter by your side.
Get to know your daughter’s partner
Inviting her boyfriend over should be the first thing that you do when you get to know that she is dating. You might have seen his pictures and you were not impressed. You seem to think that he is a spoilt brat who doesn’t deserve your daughter. Give him a benefit of doubt and do away with imposing judgments.
Inviting him over will give you a chance of knowing and analyzing his behavior. You may also take them out for a meal and see how they behave when they are together in public:
- Does your daughter seem happy?
- Does he seem to be of good behavior?
Look out for red flags during such moments. You never know, he might be a good kid that you misjudged. If he seems to be the devil in a new dress, you might have to step in and take some measures before it’s too late.
Set up the dating rules
Setting up clear dating rules between your daughter and her boyfriend is an effective method of keeping track of their relationship. It sets boundaries and the two get to know that breaching them comes with consequences. It also builds trust between you and your daughter, something that you really need at this crucial time of her life.
Talk to your daughter
When you learn that your daughter is dating, do not even think of making threats like, “if you continue dating so and so, I will not pay your school fees or upkeep.” Doing so will only alienate her. Making such threats will make it difficult for her to approach you when she has a problem with her dating life; a time when she needs you most.
Talking to your daughter builds trust between the two of you. If you push her away and tell her that you do not like her boyfriend, she will be compelled to make certain choices to try and prove you wrong.
As a parent, never give your daughter reasons to lock you out of her life. Doing so would be handing her ammunition which she will use against you later in life.
Track your daughter’s phone
Although she may not like it when she finds out you are have been tracking her phone, she will understand when you explain that her safety is your top priority as her parent.
Tracking your daughter’s phone allows you to track her movements and know of her whereabouts from your phone. There are numerous phone tracking apps. Since it’s your daughter we are talking about, only use the best and most reliable phone tracking applications. A good and reputable app is the reverse number lookup.
Make use of the reverse number lookup
The reverse phone number lookup works more like a spy dialer. If you are suspicious of your daughter’s boyfriend, look up his number to get to get a detailed report of his whereabouts.
This incredible app allows you to know someone’s criminal records, their social media profiles, email address, and even their location. You can even see any complaint made against them in the past. This app not only exposes cat-fishers, but it also shows who is calling or texting your daughter and where to find them.
As you already understood, the situation with your daughter’s strange boyfriend is quite common in adolescence. You are not the first and you are not the last who pass through it.
In any case, such datings can have consequences for your child, it’s good if everything ends with moral trauma, but such relations often lead to physical abuse. But you should not get angry when you find out it, for a start, understand whether their relationship is really a problem and to some extent a danger? Perhaps all is not so.
Hope, my advice will help.