It sucks when a man says “I’m not ready” or “I don’t want a relationship”. When all you want is to be his girlfriend and show him how amazing you are! So you might be asking how can I tell if a man is not ready and this article is intended to give you real clear concise advice so you walk away knowing why he may not be ready. Before getting into the article it’s important you understand that you should never put yourself last and never chase a man in hopes he will see you as potential one day. You already can be that potential!
Tip #1 He talks about his ex a lot:
It’s one thing to go over a brief summary about how long ago your last long-term relationship was, but ladies, if you notice he’s bringing up his ex; bringing her in to the conversation, things seem to remind him of her, he might not be ready for a serious commitment. That doesn’t mean he’s still in love with his ex, but there might still be some healing left to do and if his last relationship didn’t end well, then this could indicate he’s closed off to anything meaningful and lasting right now.
Tip #2 It’s too much too soon:
This one is a big red flag. Getting to know someone takes time and a man who comes in wanting to hijack all of yours might not respect you in the long run, or it might burn out just as fast as it started. He could potentially be needy, codependent or a player who after he feels as though he’s “won” you, disappears right after. There’s nothing wrong with keeping balanced, allowing a man to get to know you and take your time.
Tip #3 He disappears without communication for days:
If you find yourself constantly looking down at your phone, waiting for a response or call, it might be time to move on. If a man wants to see you, he will. If he wants to text you, he will. It’s just as simple as that. If he’s not actively making plans with you and taking the time to call/text, he’s not ready for a commitment. If your head is constantly circling around excuses for why he’s not reaching out, it’s time to move on. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.
Tip #4 He’s more interested in going out and partying:
There’s nothing wrong with hanging out with the boys every once in a while. Staying connected to your friends is important and a great way to give the relationship space so you feel reconnected when you’re together. If you notice your man is partying more frequently and going out every weekend, this could indicate he’s not ready for a serious relationship. Wanting to go out most nights and drink could be a sign he wants to escape and isn’t capable of building a stable life with you.
Tip #5 He’s not satisfied with his life and unsure of what he wants:
This tends to happen in people’s lives and it’s completely possible to grow with your partner and reinvent yourself together. If, however, you notice a deep dissatisfaction and he’s constantly negative about things going on around him, you might need to walk away. Someone who hates himself is very angry or frustrated with where they are at in their lives can cause emotional abuse and leave you feeling “not enough”. This sort of thing takes therapy, not a relationship, to fix.
Tip #6 There’s a lack of empathy when you open up and share about something serious:
We all have times in our lives when we might be overwhelmed with our own problems and not able to fully listen to the person in front of us. If you notice that this is a something you deal with frequently, he’s probably not ready for anything serious. A lack of empathy could indicate that this guy is emotionally unavailable. Making you feel like things are your fault, dismissing your feelings or brushing you off are clear indicators that it’s not you, it’s him. Move on from this one, fast.
I hope this article helped you figure out if he is ready or not. Before you decide what you should do make sure you take the time to understand how you can challenge yourself to be better with your decisions if you continue to date men who are not ready. You can find a man who is ready by holding to your value and not coming off to a man that you need him in order to be fulfilled in life. Remember men want a woman of abundance and that has a life besides just him when it comes to the attraction period and process. So I leave it here. What can you do differently?
Your Coach,
Alex Cormont