When getting married, people have strong aspirations and hopes for the best moments in their future marriage. No wonder they secure it in a vow before God and cheering men and women. They promise the world that they would love and cherish each other for better for worse. They promise God that nothing except death would put asunder what He had joined. There is nothing but happiness, love, and cheer. So where is divorce coming from now?
Sadly divorce happens and it happens for various reasons. But when it does occur, it can be a traumatizing if not devastating experience particularly if you placed most of your emotional needs on your ex-spouse. Divorce can deprive you not only your emotional strength, freedom, and self-esteem but can also lead to loss of property, finances and even death. It can lead to pain, self-blame and even psychological and physiological health complications.
Coping with the pain of divorce can be a very long and complicated challenge. The reality dawns on you that you are going to lose the number of years you spent together. You are going to lose the only link you had with your spouse. It is, therefore, crucial that you allow yourself time and space to mourn the loss otherwise you could carry it on to your future relationship thinking you had gone over it.
So how do we cope with divorce? There are as many answers to this question as there are many causes of divorce. No one can claim to have a one -key- fits-all solution to getting over the effects of divorce. Each individual must take a step. A step to move forward. And the first step towards healing from the effects of divorce is learning to accept things as they are.
Furthermore, there are many great books and internet sources where one can get the help they need in dealing with divorce. These sources have been produced by both men and women who have experienced divorce first hand. Even though it is a fact that one cannot find an escape even in the best of books, there are several books that stand out as offering practical information and tips towards coping with divorce. These are some of the six books that will help make divorce easier for you.
- “No One Is To Blame” by Bob Hoffman
In this book, Hoffman fronts his “Quadranity Process” that comprises four aspects of self, i.e. The Emotions, The Body, The Spirit and the Intellect. He explains how these elements work together in harmony to allow us to attain true healing.
He recommends the “Quadranity Process” as the best method to re-align our relationships with our parents. He further explains how it is a useful mechanism in developing love not only for ourselves but also for others too.
- “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed
In this book, Cheryl tells her sad story and experience of losing her mother through death followed by a family break-up and finally a devastating divorce. After losing it all, Cheryl makes the most impulsive decision that turned things around into a success. The book captures the pains and pleasures in the life of a young lady who walks against all odds to ultimate healing.
- “The art of Happiness in a Troubled World” by Dalai Lama
This book applies the principles of Buddhism in dealing with the day-to-day problems and challenges of life. Dalai Lama teaches about embracing a way of thinking that lead to happiness and peace of mind.
- “The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.” by Eckhart Tolle
This books demonstrates how we can live a happier and healthier life by focusing on “Here” and “Now”. It challenges us to leave behind our analytical mind and ego behind if we want to take the challenging journey to the power of Now.
- “Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life.” by Byron Katie
In this book, Katie brings the concept of “The Work” which she explains as comprising four questions. These four questions, when applied to a specific problem, enable us to finally find peace.
- “The Awakening.” by Kate Chopin
This novel lays bear with frankness and honesty the female marital infidelity within marriage. It talks about a woman held up in a suffocating marriage but finally finds passionate love outside the wedlock.
These are all-time great books that ever but is important to note that you cannot rely on these books alone. You should use the books to help you heal your emotions injured during divorce and reduce financial and property losses. You may also want to have a legal counsel to complement the books.